Crap, when you're happy (Japan x Reader)

“Awww they grow even more adorable each day!” I squealed as I hugged (more like squeezed) both Lovino and Feliciano. These two look like plush marshmallows, and I’m not even kidding. Antonio’s leaving them with me tonight because he’s going bowling with Gilbert and Francis.

“Thanks for watching them for me, chica! I’ll make it up to you, next time!”

“It’s no big deal; I didn’t really have plans of going out tonight anyways.” Toni smiled as he turned his attention towards the boys.

“Now, behave okay? Especially you, Lovino!” Toni said as he leaned down to pat their heads, ruffling their hair a bit in the process.

“Chigi~ I know you bastardo! No need to remind me!” The grumpy brother, Lovino, swatted Toni’s hand away and glared at him. I wonder how Toni can deal with him every single day, he’s so touchy. It’s a good thing he’s adorable.

“Ve~ We’ll behave, I promise!” Feliciano added cheerfully as he put his right hand to his heart as a sign of promise.

          After bidding Toni goodbye, the three of us went inside. I guided the kids over to the living room to watch some TV, while I cooked dinner. Before Toni came to ask me to babysit I had called Kiku to come over, so he might be here any minute now. We’re working on comic strips for the school paper but we haven’t the slightest idea what to write about. Who knows, maybe babysitting will give us some ideas? In fact, it's giving me an idea right now. The word babysit itself is funny. Imagine a nanny sitting on a baby, because she’s babysitting. Maybe we could draw a strip based on that? Interesting, I can’t wait to tell Kiku.

          Just as I finished cooking, Kiku had arrived at my front door. The four of us ate dinner pleasantly and without trouble. I’m happy it went without trouble. Feli was chatting away about how his day went, as usual, and Lovino was unusually calm and silent tonight. It makes me kind-of nervous, it’s unusual for Lovino to be this behaved.

          After dinner, I let the kids watch TV in the living room again while Kiku and I cleaned up. It was a silent affair. Kiku isn't really the chatty type so I can understand. He was pretty good with this housework stuff though, that’s why we finished rather quickly. After that, we headed to the living room where the kids were. They were watching Spongebob and they seem entertained enough, so I just left them be for the time being. Kiku took out the materials we needed for the comic and we started brainstorming for ideas. I told him about the idea I came up with earlier and he gave a smile.

“That’s an interesting idea, (y/n)-san,” then he took a quick glance at the kids, “but prease don’t do it for real. I’m afraid they might not be too thrirred about that idea.”

“Of course not, Kiku! Did you really think I would do it?”

          He smiled slightly as we started doodling babysitters sitting on babies. A few minutes later, Feliciano walked up to us (more like waddled because his legs are so tiny and cute!) and told me that he was bored of watching TV. Kiku and I stopped what we were doing for a while and diverted our attention to Feliciano.

“So what do you want to do now?”

          He paused for a moment as he thought of what he wanted to do. In the meanwhile, I glanced at Lovino who was still sitting on the couch munching on a tomato, as long as he doesn't throw a fit, I'm good. I've always imagined taking care of Lovino is like having a job as a bomb diffuser, that's how Toni made it sound like at least. After a minute or two, Feliciano raised his hands up in the air and declared his idea.

“Ve~ I know! Maybe we can sing songs! Fratello loves songs!”

“No I don’t, you idiota!”

          Feliciano seemed too engrossed in the idea that he didn't really pay attention to his brother's protests. He sat with Kiku and I in the carpet in front of the couch to form a circle. But the circle wasn't complete for there was still one person missing.

“Lovino, why don’t you join us?”

          He only gave a disgruntled sneer as a reply as he looked away. Oh no, that sassy attitude of his won't work on me! I'll make him sing songs with us even if it takes all night. So I stood and picked him up, setting him on my lap as we sat on the carpet.

"What song do you want to sing Lovino?" Again, only a gruff response.

“So what song do you want to sing, Feli?”

“Oh, I know! We sing this in school all the time, and fratello sings it too. It’s ‘If You’re Happy and You Know It’!”

“How about we sing, ‘You Shut the F—‘”

          I put my hand over Lovino’s mouth before he could even finish that. I wonder how this kid know all these vulgar words. I've heard him say a few before. He mustn’t have learned them from Toni. I don’t think he’s the kind of person who just casually says foul words in front of kids.

“Okay let’s start! Feli, why don’t you take the lead and sing for us?”

“Okay! Ve~ Here it goes!

If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands!

If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands!

If you’re happy and you know it and you really want to show it

If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands…”

The rest of the song was sung by mostly Feliciano and I taking turns.

“Aww, but fratello and big brother Kiku, didn’t sing? It’s not fair! Let’s sing the song again and this time big brother Kiku and fratello has to sing too! Ve~”

          I looked at Kiku to see how he’s doing. He seems nervous and slightly embarrassed evident from the dust of pink in his cheeks but at the same time, he seems determined to make little Feliciano happy by singing the song. How cute!

“Hai! It is my turn to sing now.

If you’re happy and you know it crap your hands,”

Crap?! He must’ve said it by mistake.

“If you’re happy and you know it crap your hands,”

Crap, that’s right, he says his Ls like Rs.

“If you’re happy and you know it and you rearry want to show it,

If you’re happy and you know it crap your hands.”

          Lovino toppled over laughing loudly as he clutched his stomach. Feliciano was giggling as he turned red from trying to contain his laughter, just as I was. And when I looked at Kiku, his face was velvet red as he frantically twiddled his thumbs, probably wanting to sink into the ground and disappear.

          With all my self-control to hold in my laughter for Kiku’s sake, I picked the brothers up and carried them to my bedroom.

“Okay guys, I think it’s time for you to sleep!”

“Wait, but I’m still having fun! Put me down, idiota ragazza!”

          Lovino burst into another fit of laughter and I can see that Feliciano couldn’t hold it in much longer as well, as he put a hand over his mouth as he joined his brother in laughing. After helping them brush their teeth and putting them to bed, I went back to the living room and saw Kiku now sitting on the couch and watching TV.

“I’m sorry about that.  I don’t know what to say…”

          I really don’t. What do you say to a person who’s just said “crap your hands”? And he didn’t just say it once, but thrice. I don’t mean to ridicule him. It’s just that I really don’t know how to respond to that…

“It’s okay, (y/n)-san. I didn’t notice as werr untir I’ve arready said the first part. After that, I didn’t want to disappoint the kids and so as embarrassing as that might’ve been I continued. I am grad that I’ve at reast put a smire on everyone’s faces tonight.”

          He was still blushing madly but he didn’t seem to be mad. He looked up to me and gave a light chuckle, as if to say that what happened was funny for him too.

          Although things have been settled, it was still a bit awkward as I know that even though Kiku said that he’s fine, he’s also still trying to recover from his embarrassment. We watched TV for a while and when he seemed relaxed enough, I decided to tell him an idea that struck me earlier.

“Hey Kiku?”

“Hai?”

“Maybe we can make a comic strip about crapping when you’re happy?”